Emotional resilience and self-regulation is the ability of an individual to recognise their emotions and learn to understand and adjust their emotional patterns in response to stress, uncertainty, challenges, and daily living.

Many of us may not realise that emotions are not simply just an experience. Emotion is a highly adaptive form of physiological response, and it regulates our lives. This mechanism evolved in our ancient brains many millions of years ago - from a need to make life-protecting decisions based on emotions - in order to moderate our behaviour.

Whenever we feel and experience an emotion, the body initiates a hormonal response, which in turn facilitates a behavioural response - a highly complex process involving major organs, neurotransmitters and the limbic system. The limbic system is the most ancient part of the human brain, which is filled with neural pathways that activate and facilitate emotions in response to stimuli. This system also controls the fight-or-flight (stress) response through the autonomic nervous system.

WHAT ARE EMOTIONS?
Emotions are our natural responses to the world that we experience. They can include happiness, sadness, surprise, contempt, anger, fear and disgust. It is the effective regulation of these emotions that actually helps us to cope and operate in a healthy manner within everyday life.

Suppression happens when uncomfortable thoughts and feelings are pushed out of the mind and into the subconscious. Simply put, we focus our minds on something else that helps us to forget what is really going on inside. For example, through:

• Using distraction (i.e. watching TV, screen scrolling, gaming, going shopping)

• Numbing activities (through drugs and alcohol)

• Emotional eating

• Controlling food intake

• Channelling emotions into physical activity (i.e. boxing, running, gym work)

WHY DO WE REPRESS EMOTIONS?
Emotional suppression or inhibition is a necessity some of the time, as it enables us to cope, e.g. to avoid a potent feeling that is considered socially unacceptable; to replace an uncomfortable feeling with a more comfortable one; or as a response to the expectations of others. For victims of trauma, past experiences can often be too overwhelming to process, or the individual may even be pressured not to discuss what they experienced, lest it make someone else uncomfortable. Modern society also demands from us that we suppress our emotions - the price we pay to conform to society’s expectations.

HOW REPRESSED EMOTIONS SHOW UP IN BEHAVIOURS (NOT A COMPLETE LIST)

• Don’t like to say no

• Don’t like to disappoint others

• Feel obligated to help others

• A tendency to be the ‘caregiver’

• An overachiever, workaholic or perfectionist

• Put others’ happiness before your own

• Worried about other people’s opinions/judgments

• Feelings of inadequacy

• Don’t like to ask for help

• Feel that you don’t need help

• Feel that you have to be the ‘strong’ one

• Needing to be hypervigilant

• Needing to be in control

• Feeling that you are responsible for everything

• Feeling more comfortable conforming to the expectations of others

• Avoiding conflict

• Don’t like to offend others

• Never feel angry

• Feel angry, but don’t express it outwardly

• Feel uncomfortable around hypersensitive people

• Rarely cry

• Feel fine all the time and see yourself as laid back and/or easy going

• Have escape/numbing habits (e.g. binge TV, social media, movies, alcohol, drugs, food)

• Emotional eater

• Feel low and tired for no particular reason

• Suffer from low self-esteem

• Have a mind that is foggy and/or unclear

• Forgetful and/or absent-minded

• Self-destructive behaviours (e.g. self-harm, overeating, substance abuse, unhealthy sexual behaviours)

• Nervousness

• Feeling numb

• Become annoyed or stressed when others ask about your feelings

• Forgetful

• Feeling uncomfortable when others share their emotions with you

• Feeling intensely angry but not understanding why

• Aggressiveness

• Avoidance/Withdrawal

• Verbally abusive/aggression

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN EMOTIONS GET SUPPRESSED?
Studies have shown that suppressing emotions actually endangers your health and well-being, both physically and psychologically. The continued suppression of emotion requires effort, and eventually this will take its toll on both the body and mind through the continuous stimulation of the sympathetic nervous system (stress response).

Research has also shown that emotional repression can lead to the weakening of the immune system, and ultimately have consequences on physical and mental health, and general well-being.  Growing evidence demonstrates that unresolved and repressed emotions can contribute to the development of:

• Mental health conditions such as stress, anxiety, and depression

• Nausea

• Digestive issues and complaints

• Fatigue

• Sleep problems

• Muscle tension and pain

• Appetite changes

• Poor immunity

• Stress without cause

• Infections

• Pain in the body

• Hypertension

There is also evidence that long term emotional suppression can potentially lead to more serious health conditions. Dr. Gabor Mate, in his book ‘When the Body says No,’ presents a significant amount of research demonstrating the strong correlation between emotional repression and disease: including lung, heart disease, breast, prostate, and skin cancer; multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, irritable bowel syndrome; asthma; amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) and Alzheimer’s disease.